If Only
by sariah8706
Summary: What would happen if the drum major and the asst. band director fell in love...? Find out here. It's my first story, so don't be too brutal :)
1. Default Chapter

The first thought that came to Sasha's mind when she woke up the morning of August 15 was _Band camp starts today… and I'm drum major! Ahhh!_ Yes, it was the first day of band camp of her senior year. She had been looking forward to this day all summer. She would finally get to see if the band would respect her as drum major, she would get to experience being a senior in the band, and most of all, she would get to see him… _No Sasha,_ she thought,_ don't think about him. You have a boyfriend, remember?_

She rolled out of bed and into a cute pair of shorts and a band T-shirt. After pulling her hair back into a messy bun and throwing on a pair of ankle socks and tennis shoes, she was ready. She hopped into her ugly little Volvo and made the arduous 40 minute drive to Madison High School, not caring that she'd be 30 minutes early. Maybe Charlie would get there early too… _Stop it! You have Mark and he loves you, _she told herself.

Since the drive to school was long, the CD player in her car was broken, and she had nothing else to do, Sasha thought about that summer on the way to school. She had to admit to herself that she really, _really_, liked Charlie. She also had to admit to herself that she didn't really like Mark as much as she used to. The easy solution would be to dump Mark and go for Charlie. All except for one problem: Charlie was her assistant band director. Plus, Mark was practically in love with Sasha and she'd feel horrible if she just dumped him like a sack of potatoes. But, by the time she arrived to the Madison High Yellow Jacket Pride Band Hall, Sasha was sure of what she had to do. She knew a relationship with Charlie probably wouldn't happen, she needed to break up with Mark. She just was afraid to do it.

The first person Sasha saw upon entering the band hall was Charlie. He looked so cute when he was concentrating over scores… he wasn't _that_ much older than Sasha… he was still in graduate school, only 25. And she was only 17. That's only 8 years… _You really need to get a hold of yourself_. While she was thinking this, what Sasha didn't realize was that she was standing in the doorway of the band hall staring intently at Charlie. He looked up and casually said, "Hey Sasha, what are you doing here so early?"

Charlie was hoping Sasha would arrive early so he could spend some time with her one on one. He didn't want to admit it, but he kind of liked Sasha. She was really mature for her age, and pretty too. She was a great trumpet player, and she would be an awesome drum major this year… _Whoa, this is a student you're talking about here… Mr. Kendell would never tolerate that, and you know it._

After gazing into each other's eyes for minutes on end, Charlie finally broke the gaze and awkwardly cleared his throat. "So um, since you're here so early… do you mind helping me organize some of this music?"

"Not at all," replied Sasha. As she joined Charlie on the floor among sheets and sheets of marching music, she asked, "So have you had a pretty good summer?"

"It's been alright, I guess. Although I have to say I've really missed being with you… um, you band kids. All of you, I mean." He blushed and thought to himself, _Nice going Charlie, you know you can't have the girl but you still manage to hit on her anyway._

Sasha, seeing that Charlie was flustered, thought _I wonder if he meant that… I hope he missed me… no, of course he doesn't like you. But those eyes, they held my gaze for so long… if only…_


	2. Chapter 2

Sasha came home that Monday evening very tired, but completely satisfied with the day's happenings. The first day of band camp had gone really well, she thought. She couldn't wait to take a shower, eat dinner, then get online and analyze everything about the day with her best friend, Kaitlin.

Kaitlinbug87: hey! whats up?

Trumpetgurl123: not much, just really tired… you?

Kaitlinbug87: same. How was your first day as drum major!

Trumpetgurl123: haha really good… I think ppl actually respect me kinda

Kaitlinbug87: yeah totally! I hope you dont mind me asking but what was up with you and mark today?

Trumpetgur123l: ohhh… um yeah things arent going well in that department

Kaitlinbug87: ok you better tell me whats wrong… you two are like perfect together!

Trumpetgurl123: well not really… I don't think I like him anymore, I kinda like someone else.

Kaitlinbug87: wha! Who who who?

Trumpetgurl123: I don't really wanna say……

Kaitlinbug87: oh come on im your bff you gotta tell me

Kaitlinbug87: wait… I bet I know who it is

Trumpetgurl123: you do? Omg plz don't tell anyone!

Kaitlinbug87: so you do like charlie! Omg I was right! Whoa

Trumpetgurl123: hangs head in shame

Kaitlinbug87: aw its ok babe, I still luv ya… I mean he is pretty cute you know. But hes asst. band director!

Trumpetgurl123: I know I know…. What am I supposed to do about mark?

Kaitlinbug87: well I say if you don't like him anymore then you need to break up

Trumpetgurl123: I guess so… well I'll handle that tomorrow either before or after camp… meanwhile I need to get some sleep, we got a full day tomorrow

Kaitlinbug87: ok hun see ya tomorrow!

While Sasha was having this conversation with Kaitlin, she was also talking to another good friend. She had been talking online with this guy she met on a marching band message board. They decided they wouldn't tell give each other any personal details about each other. Kind of weird, but Sasha thought he was way cool. She could talk to him about anything and everything.

Musicalchairs101: hey there

Trumpetgurl123: hi how are you?

Musicalchairs101: good but tired, you?

Trumpetgurl123: same, band camp started today

Musicalchairs101: lol same here. Very tiring… how did yours go? First day as drum major and all?

Trumpetgurl123: it was cool

Musicalchairs101: you don't sound very happy. Anything wrong?

Trumpetgurl123: yeah actually… love problems.

Musicalchairs101: care to share? You can talk to me about anything you know

Trumpetgurl123: yeah i guess it couldn't hurt to talk about it. Its so cool how we talk about anything… but yeah, I think I wanna break up with my b/f cause I like someone else.

Musicalchairs101: ohhh that's tough. But if you like someone else, then you should probably end it before you lead him on too long.

Trumpetgurl123: yeah that's what I was thinking. But another problem is…. Well this is embarassing but I don't stand a chance with the guy I like…

Musicalchairs101: Aw I'm sure you have a chance. You're a great girl and fun to talk to, why wouldn't he like you?

Trumpetgurl123: well cause theres an age difference. Hes quite a few years older than me :(

Musicalchairs101: Oh thats kind of a problem… but age aint nothing but a number.

Trumpetgurl123: yeah I know, but…

Musicalchairs101: But what?

Trumpetgurl123: well, lets just say he's a teacher of mine.

Musicalchairs101: ohhh…

Trumpetgurl123: well I'd love to elaborate, but I gotta go… another day of band camp tomorrow

Musicalchairs101: Ok we'll talk about this later. have fun, bye!

Trumpetgurl123: see ya!


	3. Chapter 3

Sasha woke up the next morning with a feeling of dread overpowering her. She had many things weighing upon her shoulders. She was in charge of the whole band, she really needed to break up with Mark, and she liked Charlie and knew that there was no chance of him liking her back. Even if he did, nothing would ever come of it, since he's asst. band director. She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking _Now how am I going to let Mark down easy? I guess there's really not a nice way to say you like someone else…_Her thoughts were interrupted by her cat Mimi leaping onto her bed.

"Mimi, I'm trying to decide how to dump Mark. Any ideas?"

"Meeeow?"

"Oh, you're no help."

Sasha rolled out of bed, got dressed, ate a light breakfast, and headed once again off to band camp. She left early again in hopes that she would get to spend time with Charlie again like yesterday morning. However, when she arrived at the band hall, the only people who were there were Mr. Kendell and, you guessed it, Mark. Mr. Kendell was in his office working busily, and Mark was pacing around the room. He looked up at Sasha when she came in. Sasha thought, _I guess this is as good a time as any…_

"Sasha! I was hoping you'd be here. It's great to see you—

"Mark, can we talk?"

"Uh, sure… is it something serious? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"Yeah… um… well, you're not going to like it."

"I'm not?"

"No. You see… it's… I… well, what I'm trying to say is, I like someone else. I don't think we can go out anymore."

"But next week's our six month anniversary! How can you just… drop everything we had and start liking some _other_ guy?"

"I'm really sorry, Mark…"

"Well… I'm really not happy about this at all… I thought you were better than that. I guess you aren't the girl I thought you were. Look, I'm gonna go… to the percussion room, work on some stuff… see ya 'round… or not."

_Ouch _Sasha thought to herself. _Well, at least it's over. I can focus on—_

"Hey early bird!"

"Oh Charlie—I mean, Mr. Fanson! Hi!" _You're such a spaz, Sasha._

"Please, call me Charlie… since you're here, you think you could help me in the library?" _You know, the library where it'll be just you and me… okay Charlie get a grip. You just need some extra help back there, don't get any ideas… you don't have a chance with her anyway._

"Sure!"

Charlie and Sasha went to the music library, where they filed various sheets of music in their proper places. There were still 45 more minutes until the other band students were scheduled to arrive. After a few minutes of silence, Charlie quietly broke the silence.

"I couldn't help but overhear the last part of your conversation with Mark. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just… it needed to end. I'm kind of relieved, actually."

Charlie nodded. "You know, I kind of am, too. I know it probably isn't proper for me to say this, but… you deserve better…" His voice trailed off, and he was afraid he had said too much and scared her.

"I think I deserve someone more like you, Charlie."


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Sorry I didn't update faster, all state was this weekend! Also I've been spending time thinking about how this story's going to turn out. Thanks to those who have reviewed, I really appreciate the encouragement. More reviews are welcome! I hope you like chapter four._

_Oh my God, did I just say that out loud?_ "Oh, Charlie I, I didn't mean it like, well you know…" Sasha let out a heavy sigh. "Sorry, just forget I said it. What was I thinking, you couldn't possibly—"

"Yeah, I think I could."

Sasha, whose head had hung in shame this whole time, suddenly lifted her eyes to Charlie's. There was an unmistakable feeling hanging in the air. Suddenly, Charlie moved closer to Sasha, carefully took her face in his hands, and gently kissed her. It was like nothing Sasha had ever experienced. His lips were so soft, and she felt safe. Nothing had ever felt so right. The same went for Charlie. He knew in the back of his mind that a real relationship with Sasha would be impossible, but those thoughts were overpowered by an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction.

"Are you guys almost done back there?" Mr. Kendell asked loudly from his office.

Sasha and Charlie quickly pulled away from each other, their eyes still locked. Still looking at her, Charlie replied, "Yep, we're just about finished." Then he said quietly to Sasha, "I really think we have something here, but—"

"It won't work, right? I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's just that I'm in a teacher position and you're a student. If it weren't like that, I'd love to have a relationship. Hell, I still want to right now. But I could lose my job."

"What are we supposed to do?"

"I guess no more kissing…" He chuckled half-heartedly. "I don't see any problem with us being good friends, though."

"I guess…"

"Mr. Fanson! Sasha! Can you come out here please? It's almost nine o'clock, time to start."

Sasha and Charlie slowly made their way out of the library and into the band room, where almost the entire band was milling about, waiting for the second day of band camp to start. Charlie went to Mr. Kendell to talk about band director things, and Sasha joined her circle of friends, including Kaitlin and her good friend Cassie. Also among them was her best guy friend, Jay. When Sasha approached them, Cassie immediately blurted out, "Why on earth did you and Mark break up? Oh my God!"

"It's a long story… I'd rather not talk about it…"

Kaitlin looked at Sasha and, being the only one who knew she liked Charlie, knew why Sasha and Mark were over. However, no one but Sasha and Charlie knew about their kiss in the library.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Ahhhh sorry I haven't updated in forever! I've been soooo busy lately, but I'll try to do better. Thanks for the reviews!_

As Sasha, Kaitlin, Cassie and Jay were trying to change the subject, Mark walked by. Sasha turned a deep shade of red and tried to avoid looking at him. However, no one in their group could miss the sinister glare Mark threw in Sasha's direction. She saw hurt and disappointment in his face, but mostly what she saw was anger. She couldn't possibly think of anything to say to him to make things better, so she just kept looking the opposite way until Mark was out of ear-shot.

Cassie said, "Whoa, he looks mad... you better watch your back today, girl."

"I know..."

"Everybody move out to the field, let's get started!" yelled Mr. Kendell.

Sasha was grateful that she wouldn't have to deal with all this emotional stress for a few hours while the band rehearsed. She could focus on music, drill, and conducting. That is, if Charlie would stay out of her way. Sure, she loved having him around, but it was too painful to even look at him anymore. She knew they didn't have a chance in hell. She almost wished she hadn't thrown away her perfectly healthy relationship with Mark, but those feelings went out the window when he tossed her a few more evil glares throughout the morning.

"Mark time, mark, up!" Four counts and the show began. Halfway through the opener, during one of the toughest spots in the drill, Mr. Kendell blew his obnoxious whistle. "Stop, stop, stop! You guys HAVE to hit that form or the whole concept of the drill's lost, ok? Start over!"

Everyone scrambled back to the opening set, and again, Sasha gave the command, "Mark time, mark, up!" Sasha had a habit of letting her eyes wander over the field as she conducted the show. She liked to look at everyone and see how well the show was going in terms of the drill. She was also constantly listening to the drum line to make sure they were with her and checking for intonation in the rest of the band. She tried not to wince as the mellophones were way sharp on one of their ridiculously high notes.

Gradually Sasha's eyes moved to the left side of the field where Charlie and Kyle, the drumline instructor, were standing, watching the band. They were supposed to be looking at everyone's footwork, but she noticed Charlie's eyes were on her. She tried not to make it completely obvious that she was staring right back at him. It was difficult, though. As she kept looking, she saw Kyle wave his hand in front of Charlie's face, bringing him back to the real world.

"Dude, what are you looking at?"

"I was, uh, checking Sasha's form... you know, and her cues."

"Since when are you a conducting expert?"

"Hey look, Brad's totally out of step," said Charlie, pointing to a sax player.

"Smoothe, Charlie, nice way to change the subject."

"I do what I can."

_Damn that was close, _thought Charlie.

Finally, after running through the show what seemed like a million times, lunch time came. Sasha, Kaitlin, and Cassie gathered near Sasha's podium after everyone was dismissed to discuss lunch plans.

"Well, we could either walk to Sonic or Subway, or drive to Moe's."

"Omigod I could really go for one of Moe's cheeseburgers right about now, couldn't you guys?"

"We can all take my car," said Cassie. She had just gotten a green VW Beetle for her birthday three weeks ago, and she loved to give everyone rides in it.

"I'd love to ride with you," replied Sasha, "but I need to stay a few extra minutes because Mr. Kendell wants me to do one last thing in the libarary... seems I left a few folders around and I he's too lazy to file them himself. I'll met you there in a few, k?"

"Mkay, see you there!"

Sasha did what she needed to do in the library then headed out to her car to meet her friends at Moe's. However, when she got to her not-so-trusty Volvo, she was horrified to discover that one of her tires was flat! "Oh shit." She looked around the almost empty parking lot. _I guess everyone decided to drive somewhere for lunch... now what am I gonna do?_

"Hey, need a ride somewhere?"

She turned around quickly to see Charlie standing a few feet behind her. "I can change that tire for you after camp today if you want."

"Oh wow, that'd be awesome. I was gonna go to Moe's to get some lunch with my friends."

"Actually I was going to go there too, so it's no problem to give you a lift."

"Thanks! You're my hero," Sasha said with a chuckle.

They walked to Charlie's green Jeep and got in. As Charlie started the engine, he smiled warmly at Sasha. She let out a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong?" asked Charlie.

"Oh nothing, just exhausted..." _Actually I'm sad because I think I'm falling for you and there's nothing I can do..._

_AN: I know that wasn't great but I'm still having a bit of writer's block, so bear with me. _


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: Thanks to everyone who has commented! Thank you especially to _darkmetaldragonfangs _for your review, it gave me some ideas. Please keep reading and reviewing, everyone! PS- I know Moe's chain restaurants serve tacos and quesadillas and stuff like that, but in this story Moe's is a family-owned local diner... I guess I could've picked a better name, lol. _

As Charlie's Jeep drove out of the parking lot with Sasha in tow, someone was watching them. Mr. Kendell's office window gave him a clear view of the lot where the band kids parked. As he watched the car speed down a side street, his head resting in his hand, he thought to himself, _Charlie and Sasha sure are getting along well..._ Then his cell phone brought him out of his thoughts with an obnoxious ring. _I've got to change that ring!_ As soon as Mr. Kendell said "Hello?" all thoughts and suspicions of Charlie and Sasha escaped his mind.

Charlie whipped his Jeep into the very last parking spot in Moe's crowded parking lot. "Okay, here we are," said Charlie. Each of them thought about how they didn't really want to get out of the car. During the ten-minute drive from the school to the small diner, they had touched upon as many topics as one could possibly talk about during such a short time. It was like they had known each other for years. Age didn't matter to them when they talked to each other; the words just flowed, and there were no awkward silences like there had been between Sasha and Mark and Charlie and Anne, his last girlfriend.

As much as he didn't want to, Charlie opened his door and stepped out of the car. He thought it would look a bit suspicious if they stayed in his car for too long. After all, approximately a third of the Madison High School Band was sitting inside the restaurant. (It was quite the popular lunch destination during band camp.) Sasha and Charlie strolled through the parking lot to the door, being careful not to walk to close to each other. They knew that despite their obvious mutual attraction, they would have to hide this from everyone, as it clearly wasn't appropriate for a teacher and a student to have a relationship.

"Thanks for the ride, Charlie," Sasha said as she started towards the table where her friends were waiting for her.

"No problem." Charlie saw his friend Thomas sitting by himself on the other side of the room, so he went to catch up with him.

As Sasha sat down in the booth with a heavy sigh, she noticed that Kaitlin, Cassie, and Jay were all staring at her.

"Why are y'all looking at me like that?"

"How come you came with Charlie?" asked Kaitlin. Kaitlin looked questioningly into Sasha's eyes; Sasha was sure Kaitlin thought they had played a little hanky panky in the Jeep.

"Yeeeeah what was going on there, huh?" joked Jay, nudging Sasha with his elbow and winking.

Cassie and Jay were just joking, but Kaitlin was really wondering. Sasha simply told the truth, that her tire had been flat and that Charlie had offered to give her a ride. "I mean come on, he just gave me a ride, is that a crime?"

"No," said Cassie, "it's just that any guardie would have killed someone to have the opportunity to spend ten blessed minutes in a car with Charlie, the god of all males good looking."

The table burst into laughter, and the waitress brought four plates to the table.

"I take it you ordered for me?"

"Yeah," said Kaitlin, "I knew you'd want a cheeseburger, and we got tired of waiting for you."

Jay, Kaitlin, and Sasha all hungrily dug into their cheeseburgers while Cassie, the sickeningly healthy one of the group, ate an enormous salad.

"You and your bunny food," said Sasha. "What a party pooper."

When the band returned to the school after their lunch break, it was time to move into sectionals. Each section found a relatively secluded place to work on their music while Sasha, being drum major, travelled from one practice room or classroom to another to observe and assist. When she came upon the saxophones' sectional, her eyes quickly fell upon two people: Charlie and Mark. Mark was an excellent sax player, and before the whole Charlie thing developed, she had been quite proud to be with such a talented guy. Next her eyes fell upon Charlie's... and to her embarassment, her face immediately turned a bright shade of fire engine red. _Great, now my face looks like a strawberry... how sexy._ She felt a tad better when Charlie had the same reaction, as she could see from his face's hue. This meeting of eyes seemed like it took hours, but a maximum of three seconds had passed. Thankfully, no one else noticed this. To Sasha's relief, Mark was busily concentrating on his music, and had failed to notice anything.

After what seemed like the longest day ever, Sasha finally came home and had a chance to sign onto AIM. It had been awhile since she had talked to Musicalchairs.

Musicalchairs101: hey, long time no talk

Trumpetgurl123: yeah i know, hows it goin?

Musicalchairs101: pretty good, kind of a long day

Trumpetgurl123: me too! and i got a flat tire

Musicalchairs101: oh that sucks... were you driving at the time?

Trumpetgurl123: no thankfully but i was about to drive to Moe's

Musicalchairs101: omg you live in shepardville? so do i

Trumpetgurl123: no i live in mapleton but i go to school in shepardville

Musicalchairs101: weird... i guess thats enough personal detail though

Trumpetgurl123: yeah but wouldnt it be funny if weve seen each other

Musicalchairs101: yeah it would lol

Trumpetgurl123: well i g2g but it was good talkin to you!

Musicalchairs101: yeah same to you, ttyl!

Trumpetgurl123: later

Musicalchairs101: bye


End file.
